Life can be confusing. At times it seems like we’re always searching for answers or that things aren’t always working out as we planned. It’s in these times that I often feel like I really just don’t know, so I run. Running has become my release; an answer to a question – an idea sprung from passion and grit. It is my closeness to God and my increase in confidence. It is my “I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter.”
There was a time in my life when I constantly spent my time searching for answers. I had to know the reasons behind things. I picked apart even the smallest details in my life. I wondered what the motivation behind this or that was and followed it by remaining stagnant – waiting and wondering. I didn’t know how to shut my mind off. I struggled to fall asleep at night, wrestling with the jumble of information running rampant in my mind.
One day I started running and suddenly all the thoughts that plagued me vanished. I began to understand life in terms of what it offers and the beauty in which it makes itself known. It became an escape from the technological advances in life and the constant chatter in my ear. I learned to run without headphones, without music, and just enter the part of myself that was otherwise restricted. I moved with the will of my heart. I forgot about the worries and stresses that come with everyday life and suddenly I was no longer trapped in pedantic thoughts. I became life and life became me. For the first time I started to live.
To this day running is my passion. It is my escape. I know that in life there are going to be many times when I just don’t have the answers. But, it doesn’t matter, because when “I don’t know…I run.”
By Raul Alanis