Runners…What’s Up With That?

Posted on August 1, 2011


I have compiled a list of things that concern me about running and runners in general.  I guess you can say it’s me thinking aloud.  I welcome you to the first installment of Runners…What’s Up With That?

You just hit me with your water cup when you threw it back and now I have water all of over me!  Runners…What’s up with that!?!  Pay attention to where you are throwing your water cups during races, especially any sports drinks –  they’re sticky!

Are you running with sunglasses and the sun has already set?  Runners…What’s up with that? Unless you just went to the eye doctor and had your eyes dilated, please remove the sunglasses.  I just don’t like looking less cool than you when I’m running.

Are you really pooping or peeing on the side of the road during a half or full marathon?  Runners…What’s up with that!?!  I have seen this more times than I would like to admit.  They have port-o-potties…please use them.  I am already trying not to throw up during my run from exhaustion, I don’t need to see this.

Do men really think it’s okay to run in really tight Spandex shorts?  Runners…What’s up with that?  I have seen some very interesting and colorful spandex shorts on men while they’re running.  It’s just, well, don’t forget that we have a little something extra between our legs and I really don’t think the whole world needs to be reminded.

Is that guy running in a thong!?!  Really Runners…what’s up with that!?!  I remember running our first half marathon and Rachel directed my attention to a guy who had a thong on under his shorts!!  Ouch!  Needless to say, I really wish she had not pointed it out to me.  Since then I bought four to run in and I love them.  Just kidding!!  And, wait, how did she even notice his thong!?!

Why must you always turn a treadmill run into a race when you’re running next to me?  Runners, what’s up with that!?!  There is no such thing as a leisurely run when you are on a treadmill and someone is running next to you. I hate when they keep looking over at your machine and increasing their speed.  It makes me feel like we’re racing and you know I have to win!!!  Stop racing me on the treadmill!!

Do you really need to stretch like that?  I mean, really, not all of us are that limber.  Stop making us feel bad.  Runners, what’s up with that?  I have seen some of the craziest stretches before a race.  I’m not saying it’s wrong to stretch, it’s just, well, some of us aren’t that flexible!  Please refrain from such stretches in public. 🙂

Are running/hydration belts really the new Fanny Packs?  Runners, What’s up with that!?!  If that’s the case then I guess I wear a Fanny Pack.  Were they really even in during the 90’s?  I hope so because me and my brother had them. 🙂

Why do you insist on staying directly in front of me, especially when I am trying to pass?  Runners, what’s up with that?  There’s only so much Rachel and I can do to let you know we are trying to pass.  Usually it’s a clearing of the the throat or running louder to let you know we’re approaching.  What we’re trying to say is…MOVE!  We’re not trying to be mean.  It’s just hard when we are desperately trying not to slow down but you won’t get over to your right.  Run along side us, we’d be happy to run with you…just don’t stay directly in front of us at a slower speed.