Things I Think I Think While Running

Posted on October 26, 2010


If you are wondering what a runner thinks about when he/she runs here are a few of the things that usually go through my mind.

–          Should we go to Shipley’s after?  A chocolate doughnut does sound good.

–          Is my ass chaffing?  Oh my God I hope my ass isn’t chaffing!

–          Why did that MoFo just pass me?  Nobody passes me…Nobody!!  Ok, I passed him/her, wait, you mean I have to run harder to stay ahead…why (whining.)

–          Do I want steak for dinner, no wait, a big juicy burger!  No wait, we’re going to Chipotle and I want a big burrito…no wait, I want a shake from steak and shake!!  No wait, right now…right now I want a Powerade slush from Sonic!!

–          Clouds where are you?  Hide the evil sun!!!

–          I should have worn my shirt.  My stomach looks flabby today…Wow, who gets to be the girl.

–          Ok what kind of bug just flew in my mouth?

–          Put your back up straight when you pass these people…look alive man.  Run like you have done it before.

–          I wonder what song he/she is listening to on their ipod?  Let’s get closer and see if I can find out.  Dang it…I can barely hear it!!

–          Oh look they’re having a picnic…Lucky Bastards!

–          Should I say hi, smile, or wave to this person that is approaching.  Nope, he/she didn’t look up…it’s cool…No really, I’m fine.  Here comes another…oh he/she smiled…now that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

–          Oh my God a snake…Oh my God that’s a snake (trying not to scream out loud.)

–          Was that dog poop?  I hope that wasn’t dog poop!

–          I have to pee!  No I don’t.  Yes I do!  No I don’t!  Darn it I have to pee!

–          It’s hot, but at least I am getting a tan…Wait, I’m Mexican…I always have a tan.  Well, then I’m just hot!

–          Are they really going to make me have to hurdle that dog leash?

–          Really!?! Are you really going to act so nonchalant about your human blockade?

–          Is it just me or does it smell like something died out here?  OMG! There is a dead raccoon in the grass!?! (Seriously! Legs up and everything)

–          Oh look at that cute little kid on his/her tricycle…Now Move!!!

–          Just keep swimming.  Just keep swimming.

–          That’s a huge dog!  I wonder if the owner would mind if I rode it the rest of the way.

–          In through your nose, out through your mouth.  Screw it…I’m tired!

–          How many miles did we say we’re running today?  You’re killing me Smalls!

–          Just be happy you’re running.  There was a time you didn’t think you could do this…Now look at you. (Smiling)